Kunming, China: The Good, the Bad and the Wonderfully Wacky

Kunming, a fairly large city, is located in the Yunnan Province in Southwest China. The city center is like any other mid to large Chinese city, but there are scenic places within driving distance that are definitely worth visiting. Last spring, I spent a week there and was equally awed and confused by everything that was happening around me. Kunming has definitely more good points than bad, but it is ultimately wonderfully wacky!

The Good

It’s just so damn beautiful.

This is more of a visual explanation than a written one. It is just SO beautiful. If you visit in spring, the weather is absolutely perfect.

The vegetarian dishes are awesome.

Food in Kunming toes the line between good and bad, depending on individual tastes. If you’re a huge fan of mushrooms, then you’ll love the food there since the region is known for growing wild mushrooms. I, on the other hand, was pretty horrified when I was presented with a boiling pot of beef parts soup with 20 different types of mushrooms in it. Locals also love to eat deep fried wasp larvae, bamboo grubs (caterpillar larvae) and grasshoppers. Needless to say, I ate a lot of vegetable dishes there, and thankfully, they were fantastic. One of the dishes I had, Dongbei noodle salad, was so good that I came home and recreated it.

The bad

Practically everyone smokes.

There are a lot of perks to staying in a small, local hotel. They are usually way cheaper and are located in less touristy areas. The bad thing is that they’re much looser with the rules of indoor smoking so you smell cigarette smoke EVERYWHERE. They even smoke in the elevator! The only places that truly ban smoking are the fancier hotels, cafes and shopping malls. If you head to local restaurants, you’ll be having a side of nicotine with your meal. I later learned that one of the biggest industries in Kunming is a tobacco factory. That explains it!

Two words: Man Spas.

If you see a 24-hour sign for a spa, be forewarned that it probably caters to men only. I was so excited to see a sign for a 24-hour spa at my hotel and I dragged my tired feet there at 10 p.m. to get a foot massage. The receptionist seemed very surprised to see me but gestures me to have a seat. The entire spa was filled with leather adjustable armchairs with individual TV sets attached to them and it was strangely dark and quiet. There was also a bar in the corner of the room. A bar?  Suddenly, a few men in robes came out of the sauna room, smoking cigarettes (of course). They were as confused to see me as I was to see them. They sat on the armchairs, drank their beers and smoked while getting a foot massage. Throw in some big screen TVs and it will be the perfect man cave.

Wonderfully Wacky

Fancy restaurants with private rooms.

I went to a couple of fancy restaurants that only had private dining rooms. I’ve never seen anything like that before. Each room has a sitting area with a couch and automated mah-jong table (it was so awesome) as well as a dining area with a large round table. You can spend your entire evening in there since they also have a karaoke room! The Chinese do know how to throw a dinner party.

Pigging out at the Jixin Yan Yunnan evening show.

This is like Vegas on steroids, sans gambling. It’s massive, extravagant, showy, and there was just so much food! I stupidly thought that the giant bowl (bucket?) of noodles they served in the beginning of the meal was the actual dinner. I ate as much as I could but they kept bringing out more food! They also had singing, dancing and a parade of costumes. It was a meal, a show, and yes, they even had a Game of Thrones style throne for silly tourists to pose on.

Motorcyclists have the same rights as a pedestrian AND a vehicle.

It’s almost impossible to walk in the city. Motorcyclists have the best of both worlds. They can go on the main road, go on a special lane just for them and even park on the sidewalk. I can’t tell you how many times I almost got run over by a motorcyclist crossing the street along with pedestrians or riding on the sidewalk!

If you like massive amounts of food, big beautiful scenery and a little bit of chaos thrown in, definitely visit Kunming! You won’t be disappointed.